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Posted by on Feb 5, 2014 in dating | 3 comments

3 Rules for Women for First Dates Most Experts Would Disagree With

loa relationship coachBy Lisa Hayes

I was recently asked for comment for an upcoming article about the book, He’s Just Not That Into You.  Generally speaking, I really like that book.  I agree about 98%.  If the dating women of America would read that book and take it to heart, I’d lose half my client base.  However, there is that 2% exception, where the rules of the book didn’t exactly work, and if a woman had followed them, she’d have missed out on something great.

Speaking of rules, a lot of my clients religiously follow the guidelines in the book, The Rules.  Again, for the most part, I really like the book.  Women could learn a lot of tools that would probably serve them well from that book. However, in some situations, The Rules, aren’t quite flexible enough, and I think it’s possible a lot of great guys get left in the dust because they weren’t aware there were rules they needed to be following.

My point is, when it comes to dating, much like everything else, there is an expert or a book that will tell you just about anything, when in fact, there is no one way to do anything.  People are unique and every situation is different.  Thinking there is one set of rules that always applies is naive at best, lazy at worst.

If you want a list of my 3 Common Sense Rules for Women for First Dates that Most Experts Would Disagree With, watch the video.

However, if you don’t want to spend your time on that, I’m going to give you TWO rules for dating that will yield happy results.

#1.  Don’t do anything if you’re feeling needy, insecure, or you are looking for validation.

Don’t pick up the phone or send that text if you’re doing it because you want to know he digs you.  Don’t ask a guy out just to get the validation that your pretty or worthy in some way.  Don’t get needy or lonely and start making someone else responsible for making you feel better.  Be honest with yourself.  Only do anything when you feel empowered and certain.  Period.

#2.  Listen to your intuition.

Date however makes you feel most confident.  Do what feels best.   Always, always, listen to your gut.  When you are acting from your place of power no one knows better about what’s best for you, than you.  Be your own expert.

Do it your way.  Make your own rules.  Break them when you want to.

 

 

 



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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of How to Escape from Relationship Hell, The Passion Plan, and Body Love Boot Camp. She is also co-founder of Good Vibe Coach Academy, specializing in LOA Coach Training. To get Lisa's FREE Audio, "How to Talk to a Man" click here.



3 Comments

  1. Hi Lisa, First let me say I love the advice you give. It’s genuinely awesome common sense and if all of us women would just believe a little bit more in what we are deserving vs what we should settle for we’d all be in the perfect or attracting the perfect relationship..

    I realize I am my own enemy. I am single and I know why, so I’ve been concentrating more on self love over the last year or so and have finally come into a place where I am OK for the most part with being single.

    My real problem is, I’ve met a nice guy, funny, not bad on the eyes, but I just don’t feel like he’s not the one.

    And then when I say that’s what I think, people who know me say I’m crazy and I have too high of standards.

    But I know me, I have to feel that spark. I’m a Gemini. So you there has to be that initial strong attraction So what does one do in that sense when you’ve found someone that you yourself feel like the guy is a decent catch…but also feel…he’s just not “it” or “the one”.

    I don’t want to have to settle because I believe I would someone who will make my eyes STOP wandering and my heart melt. Am I wrong for still believing at the age of 36, it’s still possible for me to achieve this kind of relationship? I don’t think so…

  2. I think there are three parts to the equation that is life long love. Timing, Chemistry, and Communication. All of them are equally important. Sometimes chemistry develops over time. But don’t settle. There is no shortage of great guys on the market who would be lucky to be in a relationship with you. A relationship without the spark won’t go the distance anyway.

  3. Fantastic!

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