It’s like a quest for the holy grail and can feel almost as elusive. Finding Mr. Right can seem like an almost impossible task. However, one of the reasons it can be so damned hard is because it’s easy to get lost in the fog of being with Mr.
Wrong for too long. Let’s face it, being with Mr. Wrong for more than a couple of hours is too long. Some of us can camp out there for months or even years.
Yes, I say some of us because I can speak with a certain amount of authority that I’ve earned with too much time up close and personal with some world class Mr. Wrong encounters.
Based on my own field research on the subject and a lot of time talking to clients who couldn’t see the forest for the trees, I think there are two huge Mr. Wrong red flags that are easy to miss when you’re in the thick of it.
1. If your guy leaves you thirsty, he’s Mr. Wrong for you. This guy gives you just enough to keep you in the game, but you’re never quite satisfied. He may acknowledge you are a couple. However, he doesn’t like to advertise it.
This man likes things on his terms. He likes to call the shots. He makes you feel needy if you call him for anything. God forbid you ever call him at work or when he’s with his friends.
He subtly guilts you for needing too much. Every once in a while, he’ll tell you everything you want to hear, but every once in a while doesn’t come often enough for you to feel secure in your relationship.
It’s like you’re thirsting to death in a desert, and he occasionally offers you a tablespoon of water. You’re still thirsting to death. It just keeps you alive to suffer a little longer. Spending too much time with this man will make a very secure woman insecure, and she won’t even notice it’s happening until it’s too late.
Mr. Right is never going to leave you desperate for affection. Mr. Right is not going to withhold or portion out his attention. He’s present, and you know it. There aren’t limits or rules with Mr. Right.
2. Mr. Wrong will find ever-so-subtle ways to undermine your confidence. He might even do it under the guise of sticking up for you.
It might sound like this. “When my Mom and I were talking I told her that you aren’t the kind of person who would be irresponsible with money" Yes, Mr. Wrong was saying something nice. However, the way it’s phrased leads you to believe there was a reason he had to say that.
It might sound like encouragement, when in fact, it’s condescending, and it feels that way. However, you can’t call him out on it because he didn’t really say anything wrong. “I know you did your best cooking that meal when my friends were over for dinner" WTF does that even mean?
It’s never quite good enough for him, and he comes off as understanding all the while, pointing out your flaws.
Mr Right is your biggest. fan. He’s your champion. He makes you feel invincible even when you don’t fully see it yourself.
Mr Right doesn’t make you feel like you’re striving for something you can’t identify. In his eyes, you are more than enough, all the time, and you know it.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 07/28/2016 at 12:00:00 AM