Most couples will say their relationship is a priority. If they don’t say that they won’t be a couple for very long. However, what you say and what you do are two very different things. Life tends to get in the way and sometimes you’ve just gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
Here’s how my day usually goes.
My husband gets up and out the door before I even open my eyes. I’m not sure what time he goes to work and frankly, I don’t want to know. I’m not a morning person.
At some point around 7:30 my progressive alarm clock starts to light the room and nature sounds start to play. I’m usually awake before the peaceful gong noises signal it’s 8:00 a.m..
Then it’s on.
I answer emails and check the news. I wish that wasn’t the first thing I did, but it is.
I snuggle with my kiddo for several minutes before I get out of bed.
I get out of bed and “encourage” my kiddo to get himself dressed and take care of the chickens.
If it’s a good day, I get the dogs downstairs before I have to clean up any accidents. Today I wasn’t that lucky.
I do pilates or go for a walk with my kid.
I make breakfast for kiddo and hopefully myself.
I get kiddo off for school.
I get myself dressed.
I check emails again.
I do some blog writing or product creation work.
I usually have 3-4 hours on the phone with clients or other calls.
I check emails again.
I get lunch prepared for my kiddo and hopefully myself again.
I spend an hour or so talking to our nanny solving life’s biggest problems like world hunger.
I get kiddo to his quiet afternoon reading break.
I rest for 20 minutes or so.
I work for another hour or two.
I slap on some lipstick and comb my hair.
Husband comes home.
We recap our days for a few minutes
We go to the grocery and buy stuff for dinner because I’m just not organized enough to prepare in advance.
I make dinner.
We play with the kiddo for an hour or help him do his math which is a lot like pulling teeth.
We start the getting the kid to bed routine – that takes an hour.
We bath – I’m only sharing that in case you noticed I didn’t shower.
I connect with my virtual assistant to make sure projects are coming along.
While I do that my husband feeds that dogs – that also takes an hour believe it or not.
By this time I’ve juggled 100 things that aren’t on this list because they vary every day.
At this point it’s 10:00 p.m. and I’m trying to figure out if I have the energy to have sex or even just be present with that handsome man in bed next to me for a few minutes before I shut down and check out.
And you know what? That’s my life. But here’s the rub. My husband is suppose to be one of my highest priorities and yet my marriage tends to get the energy that’s left over at the end of the day, which is practically non-existent. A life on autopilot is almost always a life out of balance. Autopilot is catastrophic in relationships.
In my case that means I check in with my husband a couple of times a day just to connect, usually via text.
It means I take a half an hour nap instead of a 20-minute break midday so I’ve got more juice for the evening.
It means we do date night as often as we can.
It means we get away for weekends alone quarterly.
It means we are mindful about how we spend our weekends, especially our weekend evenings after the kiddo goes to bed.
It means we hold hands when we sit next to each other during the day.
It means we sneak away for walks or drives at least once or twice a week.
It means I make more of an effort to stay off my computer and phone when I’m in the room with my beloved.
It means sometimes I give him my time, attention, and body when I don’t feel like I have the energy to give.
And I know when I don’t do those things the spark doesn’t feel as sparkly. People tend to wake up one day and wonder where the spark went. I know better. I know any fire requires fuel to burn.
How about you? Is your relationship getting the energy and attention it needs to be a relationship you love?______________________________________________________________________________________
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 12/05/2015 at 12:00:00 AM