Change Will Have It’s Way With You


By: Lisa Hayes

I’ve done some doozies. I’m made some world class mistakes. I’ve had some breakups that would have made award winning scripts for the Lifetime channel. I’ve been fired from more than a couple of jobs. I’ve uprooted and moved when common sense would have dictated staying put was a better choice.

In a nutshell, I’ve found myself back at zero more than a few times in my life. I’m good at starting over. However, generally speaking starting over usually sucks. It doesn’t feel great. It’s wrought with loss and regrets. It’s never a lot of fun to throw your dreams for the future in the fire while scrounging for seeds in the ashes to grow something new – anything new.

As a coach, I’ve logged thousands of hours talking to people who were scrounging for seeds. I’ve heard hundreds of stories of loss and renewal. I’ve seen more people than I can count rebirth, reinvent, and recreate lives they never imagined having built from the ashes of a previous life that burned down around them.

What I know for sure is this:

It all happens for a reason.

When the pieces come down, you will land precisely where you should be.

Hindsight always proves that out – and I mean always, without exception.

Shit does not always make sense when it’s going down. However, there is always divine grace in the works when things are falling apart. There is a special legion of angels who’s only job it is to make sure the pieces not only fall where they may, but where they should – and surrendering to that is hard, hard, to do when you’re in the process of letting go, and it is a process.

However, surrender is not required. Everything will renew despite your suffering.

In other words – YOU WILL BE OK.

Kintsugi (“golden joinery”) is the Japanese art of repairing damaged pottery with gold. It restores functionality to a broken vessel, but also adds beauty and worth. It turns brokenness into the most valuable part of the piece. A five dollar vase can be worth hundreds after it’s “repaired” with strands of gold.


Kintsugi is not an overnight process. It takes hours to repair the smallest broken vessel. It takes time to mend a broken heart or a fractured soul, but when it’s finished, you will be stronger, more beautiful and more valuable for the experience.

Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

I say it’s also where the light shines out. Those cracks in your soul make you brighter, more radiant, softer and stronger at the same time.

So, if you find yourself in changing, growing, or letting go, it’s ok and it’s ok to cry, grieve, and embrace it all.

You will be ok despite the sadness.

You will be better and more beautiful for the suffering.

You will thrive where you’re planted even if you don’t recognize the field you’re growing in.

Change will have it’s way with you.

It will mold a new perfection.

Suffering is a choice.

Surrender is a choice also.

Either way, works.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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