I realize the account you are about to hear sounds like something that should have come out of the halls of a middle school somewhere, and yet it didn’t. This was me, last week, and trust me, I’m well beyond middle school.
I was talking to a friend, who mentioned that another person, we mutually know had said something about an exchange she and I had many months ago. Now that wouldn’t have bothered me at all if she’d related the story accurately. However, from my perspective some pretty important details were left out, starting with the fact that this person had told me a bold faced lie, and continuing to the part, where everything else she said was a complete fabrication.
I think initially, I took it pretty gracefully. I probably brushed it off by saying something to the effect that I felt sorry for her. But it ate at me. It ate at me in the kind of way where I secretly dug up old emails, that proved how right I was about how things really went down. I literally put them in a special folder, so I wouldn’t have to search for them in the future in case I needed to prove my rightness, in court, or on the phone with a friend, or something.
The funny thing about this is, the lying liar pants in question is:
A. Going through an unimaginably difficult time.
B. Not really even a part of my life.
A. Why can’t I just be compassionate?
B. Why would I even care?
Because drama is a compelling force. Have you ever noticed that? Drama quite literally provides a little jolt of feel-good. It’s a dirty kind of feel good, but it’s energy all the same. Drama creates an adrenaline rush and that’s a little boost, like a hit of a drug. The problem is, that hit comes at a price. Adrenaline energy isn’t real, it’s literally chemical, and when your brain delivers it, it’s robbing your body from someplace else to fuel it. So, to break it down, drama is addictive because it causes an adrenaline rush. You quite literally get energy from drama. However, that adrenaline robs your body of energy and robs you of happiness.
Recently I got mad at my husband over something at the time was very real. To be perfectly clear, I was absolutely right, and he was 100% wrong. He got zero points for even trying. Any person in their right mind, who heard my side of this tussle would have agreed. My husband was wrong. Straight up. So, I told him so, with some passion. I laid down a boundary. I did some crying just for effect. He heard me loud and clear and although in his eyes, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, he made some changes.
And then, I stayed secretly mad. I had a right! Thus ignoring my own motto, “where there’s a villain, there’s a victim”, I continued to harbor the resentment. Why? Drama/adrenaline. I was craving the hit. The problem is obvious. If you keep giving yourself the drug, sooner than later, the craving becomes a full blown addiction and drama and resentment become the drug.
Make no mistake, drama is an addiction. It’s as simple as this, I tend to run a little cool, a little low energy, so when I’m sluggish, I can have a Dr Pepper, a hit of drama, or I can be a rational person and take a nap. Let the record reflect I suffered from adrenal fatigue for a decade, so it doesn’t take a doctor to tell how I might tend to manage my energy deficit.
Eating a healthy breakfast might be a more grown-up solution.
Awareness is the first step. Followed by a specific plan to manage a behavioral habit. Then followed by commitment and execution. I’m better than I used to be, a lot better actually, but I still do it, because my name is Lisa, and I’m a drama addict. If you’re a drama addict too, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, maybe it just means you’re tired. Maybe you just need some awareness. Maybe you need a change of scenery. Whatever it means to you, just know, drama is robbing both your body and your spirit, so at the end of the day, the drug isn’t worth the price you pay for the high.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 05/22/2013 at 12:00:00 AM