How to Use LOA to Get Him Back


Dear Lisa,

Todd and I have worked together for three years. I knew I was in love with him from the day I met him. However, he was in a serious relationship at the time. Nine months ago our company closed our office and several of us got transferred to another city. Todd and I both went. His girlfriend did not and they broke up.

I felt like it was a sign. In fact, I’m sure it was because just about a month after the move todd asked me out and I’m pretty sure he felt it too because we began dating exclusively immediately. It was incredible. We even talked about moving in together and started looking at places. Being relocated to a new city where neither of us knew anyone else made me feel like we were starting our lives together in this big bold adventure.

Two weeks ago Todd called me and told me he had something important to talk to me about. We met at this great restaurant for dinner and I thought he was going to tell me he’d found us a place. Instead, he told me his former girlfriend was having second thoughts about not making the move and she was coming to visit. He said he was confused about her and about us and he needed to spend some time with her to figure it out. He basically said he needed a break from our relationship.

Of course of was devastated, but in my heart of hearts, I knew it would be okay. I’ve felt it in my heart for so long that we would be together. However, when I saw him at work although he was friendly it was very different. A couple of days ago a coworker told me she’d heard Todd and his Ex were back together and she was planning on moving. At first, I didn’t believe it, but now he won’t even return my calls and he ignores me at work altogether.

I know this sounds crazy and desperate, but I need to know how to use law of attraction to get Todd back. I have never felt this strongly about a man before and he’s making a mistake. Although I still believe we’ll be back together, in the end, knowing he’s with someone else is making me physically sick. I can hardly stand to go to work anymore. Law of attraction says we can have anything we get aligned with, right?

I’ll do anything.




Dear Candace,

Stop focusing on Todd.
I know. It might seem impossible. However, let’s face it, Todd isn’t focusing on you. Just for now, or forever, you are not in a relationship with this man. So, it’s time to pull back your energy and put it square where it should have been all along, on you.

Believe it or not, Todd is not the source of your happiness nor is he the cause of your unhappiness. Here’s the thing about law of attraction and relationships. You can, in fact, get any relationship you want. However, that doesn’t mean you can get anyone. You can leverage LOA to attract an incredible, passionate, intensely romantic, love of a lifetime. You cannot use LOA to force your will on another.

If all of your energy is focused on what you love or miss about Todd there is no energy left in the equation for you and that’s where your real power is. So, if you feel powerless, you’re right. You’re freely giving it all away. Todd is not your problem, nor is the ex/current girlfriend.

Your problem is you’ve lost sight of who you are, what lights you up, and what makes you fabulous and worthy. You may have even lost yourself in this relationship before the breakup. Instead of asking yourself how to get this man back, start asking yourself how to get yourself back.

How can you be more of the things that make you amazing? How can you be taking better care of yourself and your heart? How can you be making yourself happy instead of waiting for todd to step in and do it for you?

Law of attraction isn’t a force outside of you that grants wishes if you wish hard enough. It’s an energy inside of you that you leverage with focus. At this point, you don’t have any energy left because you’ve spent it on someone else. Take the focus off of him. Put the focus on rebuilding and stabilizing your energy. Get happy and get on with it. The rest will take care of itself. I don’t know what that means for you and todd, but I know this. If you put your energy back on you, it won’t matter.

Lots of love,

*This letter was shared with reader permission and names have been changed.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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