It’s pretty common for a woman to feel like her man doesn’t listen to her. I hear it a lot. I hear it a lot because it happens a lot. However, there’s a reason and in most cases it’s avoidable. When a man feels like he’s being nagged he shuts it out. You may not think you’re nagging, but he may feel like you are more often than you’d imagine. It’s like his brain hits the mute button without him even knowing it. I often say nagging is the leading cause of deafness in men.
We all know it because we know nagging doesn’t work, and yet out of frustration we do it anyway and the less they listen the more frustrated we become, so we nag, and the wheel goes round and round.
The problem becomes very serious when a man feels like a woman is “nagging all the time”. Then his brain will hit the mute button on him pretty much anytime he hears her voice. Which means, he doesn’t hear her nagging or anything else she has to say. Resulting in a reality in which he really doesn’t listen to her anymore.
He isn’t listening when you tell him to take the garbage out for the fifth time or when you tell him you love him. He listening when you tell him you had a terrible day at work, or your best friend was diagnosed with cancer.
Nagging breaks communication and connection. Period.
So, what’s a girl to do to get her point across or open the channels of communication again?
1.Make a written list. It won’t work all the time, but it will work more often than nagging. You can increase your odds of making the written list work if you start a practice of writing and leaving him sweet notes. He’ll be more likely to actually read what you write and respond positively if it’s not always about getting him to do something.
2.Compliment more than you criticize or ask. The human brain is wired to ignore people who criticize and most men perceive nagging as criticism. Studies have been done that indicate it takes a 7-1 ratio to be heard. That means you have to affirm your man, say something nice about him, notice something good and say it, or tell him you love him and mean it, seven times, for every one ask or unfavorable observation to be heard. It’s a lot, but frankly, it’s a solid law of attraction practice anyway. It’s a good way to get dialed in on appreciation.
3. Notice what’s going right and share your appreciation. Catch your man doing something right and thank him. When he does do something you’ve asked make sure he knows you appreciate it. This practice works wonders in a couple of ways. First of all, you’re more likely to get more of what you want. You’d be surprised how rarely people in relationships actually say thank you to each other. Secondly, you start to develop a culture of gratitude in your relationship. It may not catch on right away, but it will eventually. It has to. Energy goes where attention flows.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 01/31/2013 at 12:00:00 AM