One Tip Guaranteed to Dial Up Relationship Satisfaction


All mailbag emails are shared with permission and names have been changed to protect privacy.

Dear Lisa,

I have been married for eight wonderful years. My husband and I have two amazing children. By all accounts, we’ve had a fairy tale marriage. Everything has gone exactly the way we planned it would. This is exactly why I feel like a selfish bitch for complaining about my marriage or husband.

Honestly, I don’t have much to complain about. However, after eight years, what I didn’t plan for is that the spark would be long gone. I still love him. I suppose I’m still attracted to him. I just don’t feel the way I wish I did about my husband or my marriage. Everything feels a little flat and stale.

I never thought we’d always be in the honeymoon phase. I just didn’t think things would get this ordinary. I know I’m not enjoying being married the way I want to.

Am I asking too much to want to feel more in my marriage?

Please help,


Tulsa, OK


Dear Andrea,

No, you aren’t asking too much. In fact, I believe if more people were willing to take action when a marriage feels stale, divorce rates would look very differently than they do now.

Your relationship isn’t ever going feel like a honeymoon again. However, the good news is it can be even better than that.

There is one very simple thing you can do in your relationship right now to dial up satisfaction in your marriage. In fact, this tool gives you control over how you experience any relationship, romantic, professional, parenting, family, or friendship.

Intentional appreciation is always directly proportionate to satisfaction in any relationship.

If you are willing to engage and express appreciation in your marriage as a disciplined practice, before you know it, you’ll be experiencing more of what you want to feel.

This isn’t a Hallmark Card feel good philosophy. It’s science. It’s called the observer effect. When you are looking for things to appreciate, you will find more of them. When you express your appreciation, the other person will consciously and subconsciously tend to do more of it.

In fact, you can take this to a Ninja level practice, by expressing gratitude for something that hasn’t actually happened yet. Want more romance? Thank your husband for being romantic when he takes out the garbage or clears the table.
Start and end your day making a written or mental list of things you adore about your husband.

Make a point to express appreciation to your beloved at least ten times every day.
The bottom line is this: You have more control over how you experience your relationships than you think. You can create the spark at will. You can appreciate your way to as much relationship bliss as your heart desires.

Big love coming your way,


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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