Sta·sis ˈstā-səs noun
: a state or period of stability during which little or no evolutionary change in a lineage occurs

There is a huge segment of the life coaching industry that’s built on the premise of balance. When I first started my practice I thought my work purpose was helping single mothers find balance. Today I laugh at the thought.
Balance is nearly impossible. We all know it.

Picture a teeter-totter sitting on that little tiny point of balance. It’s a finite space where everything stands still. If you’re lucky enough to get to that mythological moment of balance you have to just hold your breath, because you’re afraid the weight shift of the air in your lungs should you exhale, will tip the scale.

Balance is elusive.

It’s taken me years to understand that’s ok. Balance is highly overrated. In fact, balance itself might not be a noble pursuit. Why? Because balance creates stasis and stasis by nature is a period of no evolutionary change. The divine order of nature requires that we evolve, grow, and change. Although stasis holds the comforting lure of images of balance, it doesn't allow for growth and we have to evolve if we are to continue to be alive, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
The question is how.

For many crisis, upsets stasis. They are forced into growth and evolution by necessity. Something happens to them, some external force or event and then they evolve and adapt. In a lot of ways, quite literally, that’s natural. Evolution driven adaptation is nature's way.

However, we have another path, maybe a more enlightened option. We have the options to grow by choice. We have to option to say f*ck balance and push our limits intentionally. Nature will force us to grow if we don’t, so why not opt for voluntary evolution. I’m not suggesting that by simply choosing to grow you can avoid life occasionally going down a bumpy road. However, I am suggesting that by choosing growth you can get ahead of the pain and fear when it might otherwise bury you.

I recently caught up with someone on Facebook I went to college with. When she learned what I did she suggested the personal development industry was fluff for desperate people and that coaching was a "boutique hobby". Later in the conversation, she revealed she probably drinking way too much to escape the boredom of leaving her career as an attorney to be a stay at home mom. I don’t know about you. I find that whole thing ironic.

“Personal Development” isn't a phrase or just a multi-billion dollar industry. It may very well be the choice that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. As for me, I am no longer in the pursuit of balance. It’s old. I’m bored with the the thought of it. I know I can’t be growing unless I’m slightly unstable. I’d rather be a little precarious than stuck or in stasis.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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