If I could impart one piece of advice to women about relationships it would be simple and it would be this:
If you’re going to hand over your heart to someone, don’t settle for anything less than being worshipped in return.
Absolute adoration is a requirement. Nothing less will do.
There’s a reason it’s a requirement. You can’t build a future on anything less. Here’s why:
When you’re single, the only thing you have to invest your energy is is you and your own life. However, the minute you enter a relationship, more specifically the minute you give yourself over to love, something changes. At that moment, because you are a woman, you become responsible for something much bigger than just yourself and your life. You become the caretaker of nurturing that relationship and the life that might unfold from it. It’s nature. That’s what women do. They nurture relationships.
When two people commit to each other what they want to create is some form of a shared life. A joyful life in whatever form it takes is the ultimate “product” of that shared endeavor. However, any time you try to create something, the creation of it requires energy. So, where does that energy come from? It comes from the well of the feminine, from the nurturer. The deep presence and attention that a woman brings to a relationship is where a joyful shared life is born and continues to thrive. That may sound lofty. It might even sound like mumbo-jumbo, but it’s true.
So, here’s the important question. Where does a woman get the energy it takes to make a relationship that’s solid and build a beautiful life? She get’s it from the devoted attention of her partner.
A lot of people will disagree with what I’m about to say. Some will find it confronting or controversial. Other’s might be offended, and that’s okay.
A relationship in balance between two healthy balanced partners works like this:
The man pours all of energy and attention into his mate. He adores her. He treasures her. He cares for her and attends to her needs. He protects her. He provides for her on many different levels, and I’m not just talking financially. More or less, without question, he worships her. His life becomes an active outpouring of his adoration – for her.
And what unfolds from that place of absolute adoration is a thing of beauty, because fueled by his love, that woman blossoms. She thrives. Most importantly she has the sustained energy it takes to create a beautiful and joyful shared life.
She has a surplus of energy to give to him and everything else they create in their life together. She can create a home, sustain a career if she chooses. She can lovingly raise children if they come. She will give him what he gives her in return squared.
In the beginning phases of a relationship, during the infatuation stage, that kind of adoration is common place. However, in many relationships as time passes, it wanes. People think that’s normal. It’s not. It creates devastating results. It’s a problem because as the relationship progresses the demands on the woman only get more intense. If the fuel of his adoration starts to diminish, it’s not long before she starts running out of energy and before you know it she’s running on empty. Remember it takes energy to create anything. That doesn’t mean the relationship will end or she will quit doing the things she needs to do. However, resentments will build. Things will slow down. Joy will become more and more rare.
The spark will be die, maybe forever.
If you want a relationship that stands the test of time and can weather the storms life throws at you, nothing less than adoration will do.
If you want a relationship that stays passionate longer than a few weeks or months, nothing less than being worshipped is good enough.
A lot of women stay in relationships like that and trust me, there are a lot of withered women out there.
This is why setting the bar high isn’t selfish. It’s about having what it takes to build something that lasts. Saying being worshipped is a requirement might sound egotistic. It might even sound sexist. It’s neither of those things. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s the only way a woman can be at her best. A woman who is adored has enough energy and love to go around and the man who adores her will reap the benefits and those benefits are way bigger than what he actually invests in her.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 04/21/2015 at 12:00:00 AM