Let’s face it. We all know “till death do us part” is not a mandate. It’s not the law. It’s not a given. In our culture, whether we want to admit it or not, marriages are not necessarily permanent. They certainly aren’t disposable. However, there is a thing called divorce and many of us myself included, have had one.
My question to you is this. Would you be willing to trade in a lifetime commitment, till death do us part, for an annual agreement? What if you negotiated a deal to be together a year at a time? Then at the end of the year, you decided if you wanted to re-up or renew? Now I know that obvious things like kids and property make that idea much more complicated. However, it’s still negotiable.
I have to believe that two people who knew they had to renew a contract at the end of the year might tend to stay engaged in a relationship. It would be less likely to take your partner for granted. It seems like the relationship would be unlikely to become stale. If there is one thing that can tank a relationship it’s complacency.
An annual agreement would force a couple to stay current with each other. To some degree, the magic of courting could never end. Problems would have to be dealt with in a timely manner or they could affect contract negotiations.
An annual agreement would make it impossible to ignore resentments and unhappiness for years at a time. It would cause a couple to have to revisit and revisit again their values and priorities. Chances are high they would have to have at least annual conversations about hot button topics like money and sex.
They would be forced to ask themselves and answer the question, “Is this working?”
The concept of permanence tends to reduce joy. It’s human nature to notice something less if you think it’s going to be around forever. We put less effort into something that’s guaranteed. For many people, the idea of dumping the institution of marriage would be offensive. But here’s the reality, everything is temporary. Everything is finite. Anything is possible. Marriage is nothing to take for granted.
I encourage you to consider your marriage will be richer if you treat it as a choice and not a mandate. Energy goes where attention flows. If you treated your beloved as if the time you have to spend together were very short, chances are pretty high it will last a lifetime.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 01/10/2017 at 03:16:00 AM