Interesting is Very Attractive
When I was fifteen I had a break up I thought would kill me. Sadness descended in our home with such fierceness that my father still calls it the “semester of the never ending dark night.”
Finally one day my mother braved her way into my room, where I was listening to my Rick Springfield cassette tape for the 10,000th time, with a piece of inspiration I’ve carried with me all these years. “Lisa, the best revenge is to be interesting.” In typical dramatic flare she didn’t elaborate except to say one more thing, “It’s also the best way to get another boyfriend, and it’s time my dear.”
As it turns out, as usual my mother was right. Although it took me a while to figure out her magic formula, when I got my head around it I realized that the never ending dark night was not very interesting. So, I moved out of my fifteen year old funk, and out into the world with some very interesting intentions and got some very interesting results.
One of the most common questions I get from women is how to be more attractive to men. The answer in always the same. Have an interesting life. Might seem painful obvious to some, but in many cases those women are asking how to be more physically attractive. No lie, men are attracted to beautiful women. Here’s the real truth though, any man who doesn’t understand that real beauty comes from within isn’t worth the time of day.
So, that said, beauty is only a very small part of the attraction equation. Having an interesting life, doing interesting things, living an interesting adventure is very, very attractive. It’s very attractive in every way, not just to other people, but for anything you want to attract in your life.
Here’s a true story—
I have a client, we’ll call him Greg. Greg was given the phone numbers of two girls who were interested in meeting him, by mutual friends. He joked with me that it felt like it was raining women. He’d been on a dry streak. So, in one evening he decided to give each of them a call to set up a date.
Girl 1# was very happy he called. She spent the entire conversation talking with him about Dancing with the Stars. She told him she never missed it. She’s was seriously rooting for Kirstie Alley. She explained to him in great detail why she thinks Kirstie and her dance partner are actually falling in real life love. Greg thought she was really nice. He also felt out of touch with pop culture. He’d never seen DWS. He didn’t know Kirstie Alley was a household name again.
Girl #2 didn’t answer. He left a message. She called him back later that evening and told him she was out in her garage working on the kayak she was building with her father as a fun project. She didn’t kayak yet, but was anxious to get started with that in her own boat in a couple of weeks when it was finished. She was introduced to kayaking by a friend of hers from her wine club, who was planning to kayak the San Juan Islands this Summer. Next summer, with some practice, she hoped to be good enough to make that trip too.
Who do you think Greg was most interested in??? Sight unseen, hands down, number two. Go figure…
I preach it all the time to my married folks, my single folks, and all the folks in between. Invest in an interesting life. If you’re single it’s the best investment you can make in you. If you’re in a relationship it’s a great investment in your relationship. Bottom line, interesting is very attractive.