The Kindness Challenge

 

One of the greatest challenges in long term relationships is boredom and monotony.   It’s the same old, same old everyday.  Usually, we equate this to sexual boredom.  However, a more accurate description of it would be “intimacy monotony”.

Most people think that sex lives are the better than they ever will be again in the beginning because of the “newness” factor.  That might be partly true.  However, more than the newness factor is the reality that in the beginning of a relationship, that relationship is getting a lot of attention.  Energy flows where attention goes.  The sexual relationship is just one aspect of that reality.

As time continues actual attention on the relationship diminishes over time.
It diminishes because life demands attention elsewhere and intimacy monotony sets in. So, how do you prevent this decline when life is happening at warp speed?  How do you invest in a relationship in a way that is sustainable over the long haul?

Try this challenge.   At least once a week, preferably daily do an unexpected simple kindness for your partner.   Something small, but something that is out of your ordinary routine.  It could be taking the garbage out when it’s not your job.  It might be a ten minute foot rub.  It might be an email during the day to say you’re thinking about him or her.  

The time and energy investment is small, but the results are astounding.  
It keeps things fresh.  It keeps both of you engaged.  It shows you care in small ways consistently, which over time produce massive shifts.   Great relationships aren’t build on grand gestures.  They are built one kindness at a time, day after day.  (tweetable!)