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Posted by on Jun 12, 2012 in communication, marriage, marriage trouble, relationships, sex | 0 comments

The Priority Equation

LOA Relationship CoachAlright, I’m going to confess, I’ve been watching 7 Days of Sex on the Lifetime network.  I am chalking it up to professional research.  My first thought has been, “Holy Hannah, I can’t believe sex is that complicated and difficult.”  However, I’ll probably write about that later, because my second thought was the more important one, which is, those couples have way bigger issues going on than just sex, or sex can fix.

It might seem like an oversimplification to say that all of these couples have one problem.  However, I think it is simple, for these couples, and many others.  What changes over time, which changes a relationship in undefinable ways, are priorities.  In the beginning of a relationship most people make their beloved and their romantic relationship a priority.  Unfortunately, as 7 Days of Sex illustrates, it doesn’t take too much time for many people to allow their relationship to slip in ranking when it comes to what’s important.  They might say their relationship is a priority, or even really believe it, but it’s pretty easy to see how that’s not the case.  Priorities are easy to measure.   
 

  • We invest time in things and people that are a priority.
  • We give attention to things and people that are a priority.
  • We spend money on things and people that are a priority.

It’s that simple.  If your relationship and your beloved aren’t getting those things, your sex life will only be one of many areas of your relationship that will suffer.  It might be the first, but it won’t be the last.  In 7 Days of Sex, in some cases it looks like the sex was magic.  I would argue that’s because it forced these couples to prioritize their relationships higher, just to make time for each other and sex.  If making each other a priority doesn’t last, those relationships will return to the troubled state they were in before, and we all instinctively know that.

So, if your relationship isn’t where you’d like it to be, you might want to review the priority equation.  
Priority = Time, Attention, and Money   (Tweetable!)

By that equation, which doesn’t lie, where are your priorities right now?
Is your relationship on the top of that list?

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