Kill the Good Girl
She's really not your friend.
Patriarchy wants you to be a “good girl.” Sweet. Quiet. Polite. Small.
The patriarchy wants you to be the kind of girl who doesn’t take up too much space, who swallows her anger, who smiles when she’s breaking, who says “thank you” for the shit she’s handed.
A “good girl” doesn’t question the rules, challenge authority, or dare to ask why or for more.
The good girl is killing you. So kill her first.
The “good girl” is a lie.
She’s a tool,
a cage,
a mask they make you wear so you forget what you really are: powerful, messy, angry, unapologetic.
The good girl is designed to keep you tame.
To make you easy to manage.
To turn you into a servant of their system, where your value is tied to how much you can endure, how much you can give, and how little you demand in return.
Patriarchy wants you to believe that being a “good girl” will save you. That if you’re agreeable enough, accommodating enough, quiet enough, you’ll be safe IF you play by their rules, you’ll be loved, respected, protected. But that’s the biggest lie of all.
The “good girl” doesn’t save you—she sacrifices you.
The good girl teaches you to apologize for everything -
for your voice
for your body
for your dreams,
Good girl teaches you to carry other people’s shame and call it your burden.
She teaches you to disappear, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but a hollow shell of the person you were supposed to be.
So stop saving her.
Stop clinging to her.
Kill the good girl and set yourself free.
And yes, when you kill the good girl, they’ll call you names.
Selfish.
Angry.
Crazy.
Too much.
Let them. Those are just the words they use to punish women who refuse to stay small. Those words are weapons, but they only work if you believe them.
Patriarchy wants you to believe that your anger makes you ugly. That your voice makes you unlovable. That your power makes you dangerous. Good. Let it. Be dangerous. Be unlovable by a system that was never built to honor you. Be everything the good girl was too afraid to be.
When you kill the good girl, you’re not losing yourself—you’re finding her. The parts of you you were taught to hide? Those are the parts that will save you. The messy, angry, imperfect, powerful parts of you? That’s where your freedom lives.
The good girl says, “Don’t make waves.”
Kill her. Make a tsunami.
The good girl says, “Be nice.”
Kill her. Be real.
The good girl says, “Stay quiet.”
Kill her. Scream.
You were never meant to be a good girl. You were meant to be whole. And being whole means embracing the parts of yourself they taught you to hate. Your rage. Your grief. Your voice. Your power. Being whole means taking up space, demanding more, and refusing to apologize for your existence.
So kill the good girl. Kill her without mercy. Kill the part of you that apologizes for taking up space. Kill the part of you that plays nice when you want to roar. Kill the part of you that believes your worth is tied to their approval. And in her place, let something wilder, louder, and freer rise.
If you would like a partner in crime for burying your inner good girl, I am here for that and I've got some personal doing it.
I want to chat about the things you obsess over when you lie awake at night. I want to unpack your dreams and your nightmares. I want to talk about who you were before all that shit dimmed your shine and how to get her back.
I’m not here to fix you because I don't think you're broken—I’m here to help you fall in love with yourself and your life again. No mood shaming, no gaslighting, just real, transformative coaching from someone with three decades of experience. Ready to reclaim your fire? Let’s set some sparks flying. DM me or check me out online at https://www.lisamhayes.com .
You can also find me at https://www.thecoachingguild.com/ if you’re interested in coach training.
