The Luxury of Having Nothing to Prove
Think what you want. I do not care.
There is a kind of luxury that arrives when a woman stops trying to make herself impressive.
She can have an ordinary Tuesday without turning it into a story about productivity. She can read a novel without extracting a lesson. She can wear something extravagant to the grocery store, spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing useful, or develop a passionate interest in something nobody else finds particularly interesting.
She can be clever without demonstrating it. Beautiful without documenting it. Successful without announcing it.
She can have entire portions of her life that remain gloriously unobserved.
I think we underestimate how much of women's lives are spent presenting evidence.
Evidence that we're good mothers, desirable partners, competent professionals, thoughtful friends, responsible citizens, sufficiently informed, appropriately concerned, aging gracefully, and making excellent use of our remaining time on earth.
It's fucking exhausting.
Get this: You can simply stop auditioning.
You can have a lovely life that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else.
You can be ambitious about your pleasures. You can cultivate peculiar tastes, entertain unpopular opinions, and become outrageously devoted to the things that delight you.
You can be a woman of considerable substance who occasionally spends an entire afternoon looking at beautiful shoes.
Nobody needs a report. Nobody.
At some point, I think a woman ought to have the pleasure of becoming a little less explainable.
Not mysterious as a performance.
Simply so thoroughly at home in her own life that she no longer feels compelled to justify the furniture.
Perhaps that's where the most interesting chapter of a woman's life begins.
When she stops organizing her days around being understood, approved of, or admired, and starts making decisions based on what she actually wants.
Different relationships. Different priorities. More beauty. More pleasure. A little less obligation. A considerably more interesting use of her time.
She may discover that the life she's been so diligently maintaining isn't quite the life she'd choose today.
And she gets to do something about that.
This is the work I love doing with women.
Not fixing them. Not optimizing them into more efficient versions of themselves. Helping them become wonderfully, unmistakably themselves, and then building lives that reflect it.
My private coaching practice is a place for women who are ready to reconsider the rules they've been living by, make some deliciously consequential decisions, and create lives they actually enjoy inhabiting.
Four private sessions each month, with ongoing support between conversations. $650 per month.
If you're ready for a life with more freedom, more beauty, and considerably less explaining yourself, I'd love to work with you.
Explore private coaching at LisaMHayes.com.
Because you have absolutely nothing to prove.
But you have an extraordinary amount of living left to do.
