Break Up With Who You Used to Be
Lovingly Lose Touch
The easiest way to have a toxic relationship with yourself is to fail to recognize you are not who you were.
Sure, your previous life events might inform how you experience the world. However, you are not your past and the you that exists today is NOT the same you that existed before.
Most people are trying to be in a relationship with past versions of themselves, constantly cycling through circles of trying to heal versions of themselves who do not exist anymore.
We tend to camp out in the stories about us that others tell.
We ruminate on their expectations.
We hyper-identify with our past failures, past losses, past experiences where we fell or fell short...
...and that hyper-identification with our past identities prevents us from healing because what's done is done.
Yes, you have to heal when you are wounded. Ignoring trauma is dangerous. However, if you're still here to process the shit life threw your way, you are stronger than the things that tried to break you. You are different because of what you went through. An updated version of you inhabits your life now. You are bigger than your demons. Your expansion is magnificent - you just might not realize how much you've evolved because you are too attached to who you used to be.
No matter how long it takes to heal, remember you are not your trauma. Maybe your frailness feels familiar, but that smallness is a ghost. It is nothing more than a vapor without soul. Be your own exorcist.
I get a glorious view of the people I work with because I see them clearly. Often I see them more clearly than people they've known all their lives. I have no stories about them, no shared history, no connection to their pain or failures.
Bold statement, I know, but for real, sometimes I see my clients better than they can see themselves because when they show up in my orbit, I experience their bright brilliance as they are NOW before any of that shit happened that dimmed their shine. I witness them as they are in this moment and without the past they so often carry. Usually, they are so fan-fucking-tastic they don't recognize the person I see them being. I experience them fresh and whole.
Get to know yourself without your stories about who you've been.
Break up with the versions of yourself you used to be.
Lovingly lose touch.
Be you not filtered through the past.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the worlds best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com.
