Four Ways to Find Some F*cking Zen
theomzone • January 15, 2021
When the world has gone to sh*t
1.
Do not fall into the seduction of numbing yourself.
Find things that make you feel more, not less. When we're overwhelmed, the knee-jerk reaction to manage those overwhelming feelings is to numb at any cost.
Speed-scrolling the feed
Alcohol
Watching Netflix until you're nearly blind
Over-eating
Shopping
Pretty much anything done in excess is an attempt at numbing your feelings.
Self-soothing is a pro-level skill of adulthood. However, numbing and self-soothing are two very different things.
It's natural to want to feel less when your resting emotional state sucks. That said, the fast-track fix for overwhelm is finding as many ways as you can to feel all the things, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
As counter-intuitive as it might sound, numbing yourself only feeds a feeling of hopeless disconnection. It is the opposite of a fix for overwhelm. Staying connected to what's happening emotionally allows you to process your feelings in real-time. It prevents you from stockpiling your anxiety.
Trust me: You do not want to be saving your anxiety for later. Stockpiled anxiety tends to morph into something even uglier.
2. Your body needs to detox -
probably every day.
Chances are very high you are living in a state of adrenaline on overdrive.
Adrenaline is a powerful hormone intended to be dispersed in small doses occasionally. Most of us have been living in a heightened adrenaline state for months now. Adrenaline overload syndrome is a real thing.
The effects of prolonged excess adrenaline in the body are staggering and dangerous. Unchecked, adrenaline overload will do damage.
It lowers your immune system response.
It can shift your sleep cycles in ways that are difficult to reverse.
It binds cells in your heart and lungs that causing them to function less optimally.
It has long-term impacts on emotional health and changes the functioning of your brain.
The list goes on.
Adrenaline is one of the most potent hormones in the human body. Detox is incredibly important.
Drink more water.
Sleep more hours a day.
Eat the best quality food that's available to you.
Get out in nature.
Get some gentle exercise.
Breathe often and deeply.
However, you do it daily. Take detox seriously. Your body needs it, and it will thank you.
3. Trust your anger.
Depend on your tenderness.
Women are shamed for their anger. Truth be told, men are also.
However, anger is a reflex. It's instinct. It's a raw and visceral part of being human. Trying to control or repress an emotional reflex is ill-advised and causes harm.
You can trust your anger. Your anger is a voice from your intuition. Your anger is an anchor for your boundaries. Your anger is a direct connection to your essential core truth. Let yourself rage if you need to. Anger purges.
However, we are also shamed for our tenderness. Tender is considered a weakness. In times like these, though, tenderness is a super-power. Tenderness is not an antidote for anger. Tenderness is anger's quiet but powerful sibling.
You can trust your tears. You are safe in your softness. Let your heart bleed. Healing is tender.
4. Give yourself a little or a lot of everything you think you need.
The distance between surviving and thriving is more.
If you think you need a twenty-minute nap to get through the day, give yourself an hour.
If you think you need eat a healthy salad for lunch because you're feeling sluggish, clear the shelves of the Oreos and get your ass to the farmers market for more than just lettuce.
If you think you need to take a day off work to give yourself a damn break, find a way to take a four-day weekend.
If you think you need a hug from your sister, find a way to spend the afternoon with her (maybe virtually).
Whatever you're giving yourself right now probably isn't enough.
When you are in crisis, you will instinctively navigate your decision-making with survival as the compass. Survival-based decision-making is always about the bare minimum required to get through the day. However, you can't actually survive in survival mode forever. Eventually, it will starve you.
When you're thirsting to death in the desert, if someone offers you a spoonful of water, you'll take it. However, in the long haul, that spoonful of water isn't going to be enough to keep you from dying from thirst.
Whatever you think you need, give yourself more, probably a lot more. Start now. Swing wildly in the other direction and indulge. Indulgence is the cure for survival mode.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the worlds best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com.
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