Quitting feels like a very seductive mistress.

June 16, 2022

The problem is quitting might not be enough

I am noticing a theme with almost all my clients recently. 

There is a deep and penetrating exhaustion in the collective right now. It is kind of tired that sleep does not cure. The topic of so many of my conversations with people at this point is a profound desire to quit -


quit the job

close the business

leave the marriage

vacate social media

sell the house and quit the mortgage

walk away from the graduate program

stop dating

just quit


I get it on a cellular level.


I am in love with every part of my life. For the first time ever I have zero regrets about any of my current choices.

That said, while my life is rocking, the bigger picture at this point is a steaming pile of shit. The politics, global uncertainty, financial crisis, and human suffering leave me weary. I struggle to stay in the moment when it feels like the world around me is collapsing. I feel the magnetic pull of respite like the moon pulls the oceans.

I don't know what I would quit, but the thought of quitting is a great distraction. Quitting feels like a very seductive mistress. However, at my core, I know I don't need a mistress. I need more space in my life to feel the turbulence and process the existential dread that holds space for me to be a more grateful, present, purposeful, and grounded version of myself.


The problem with quitting anything at this point is that quitting itself might not be enough. It might be a start, but chances are very high that quitting will not completely cure what ails us.

So, we navigate the soul exhaustion with tenderness.


Meet madness with beauty.

I am learning that I have to create a counter-balance in my life for the heaviness that is a part of living in the collective. 


I say this with complete sincerity:  The perfect heirloom tomato salad and a bottle of crisp white wine might be the antidote for the fatigue I feel at the end of the day.


Fresh flowers are good medicine for a weary soul.


Warm bread straight out of the oven is usually the right medicine for just about anything that ails me.


Listening to the right music can calm my mind and soul in ways no pill you can pop ever could.


A walk on the beach or a candlelight bath - these things aren't extras at this point. It goes beyond just self-care. These things are tools for surviving.


When the outside world is in chaos, intentional beauty is the only antidote I can reliably depend on. I must start making enough beauty in my life to counter-balance the madness. In fact, if I want to do more than just survive, I have to make more beauty than just enough.


But, here's the thing: beauty usually unfolds itself slowly and does require some effort. So, giving myself the time for slow beauty is rehab for exhaustion.


I also realize the stress of being human right now comes at a very high cost, and my body usually writes the checks to pay for it. This means I must consider caretaking for my body with almost every decision I make.


I need to eat as if healing was my first priority.


I need to rest as if healing was my first priority.


I need to be planning how I spend my downtime as if healing was my first priority.


Humans tend to deeply underestimate the time and attention it takes to heal a body operating under too much stress for too long. The good news is, usually, the things we do to heal our physical body are also really good for our emotional and spiritual well-being.


At this point, for most of us, healing needs to be a whole vibe, a permanent lifestyle shift because stress kills, and no one wants to die from stress.


Here is the thing - we can't keep pretending things are "normal" when they are not. We can't expect ourselves to keep producing and behaving as if life, as we know it, hasn't been permanently altered in more ways than we can quantify. We can't meet demands the same way we once did without making accommodations for what this life is costing us.

It is time to make permanent changes to how we live and who we are to heal our collective exhaustion. There is more to life than trying to survive long enough to find a way to quit.


Beauty = healing

Healing = beauty



You know where to find me if you need support.

We can work together to create and implement a plan for much deeper and more intentional mind, body, and soul care.

We're in this together.




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