An Anthem for the Goddess Uprising

If you think bending yourself into some version of being a woman that a man will feel is attractive will make you more valuable or more validated, think again.

Thinking you can be pretty enough to earn a man's respect, loyalty, and attention is a fool's game. Believing male attention will ultimately do something good for your life is also warped.

Being a woman who gets male attention just by showing up does not make you more valuable than any other woman.

There is no actual currency in being attractive to men.

Sexual attention from a man has less than no value. It is dangerous.

Women die every single day because they are attractive to a man or not attractive enough to a man, or simply in proximity to a man who noticed them for no particular reason.

Look, some ass-hat cheated on Shakira - let that sink in.

This Goddess of a Woman wasn't a second thought when her ex-husband decided to put his marriage vows on the nightstand and fucked someone else.

When you think about that, if it makes you feel like if a man can't be loyal to Shakira, then how can you ever have any hope a man will be loyal to you --

you might be thinking about it wrong.

Men will stick their dicks in holes in the wall.

Mourges and funeral homes prefer to hire women because men will for real fuck the corpses - I kid you not. Google it.

Every day men fall down and screw women who are NOT hotter, younger, more interesting, funnier, or more intelligent than their wives or significant others. They do it because they can, and the woman is there.

Arnold Schwarzenegger ACCIDENTALLY had a MULTI-YEAR affair with the woman who did his laundry while married to Maria Shriver.

Wasting any precious energy you have been blessed with to live a wild, free, meaningful, and fulfilling life trying to be more attractive to a man is like throwing yourself away for something about as valuable as a candy Blow Pop ring. We all know that just because it is shaped like something of value doesn't mean it is -

-and speaking of value, let's just say what we already know out loud.:

Men do not value and respect women. In a patriarchal system where men win by having more than other men, the most valuable woman is a woman who is a possession. Men value women by measuring compliance - and morphing yourself towards the male gaze is peak compliance.

This does not mean A man will not value A woman.

This does not mean the love of a man is not precious.

However, a man who truly loves a woman is not scoring her by her weight, cup size, absence of wrinkles, or super-hot wardrobe.

This does not mean all men are bad.

However, the construct of maleness in a world that oppresses women will always attempt to make women believe they need to earn the attention and loyalty of a man by being some sexier version of herself with no end in sight to how she will need to recreate herself to suit the male gaze.

Deconstructing that is some hard work. It takes more than commercially packaged feel-good self-love fluff.

Deconstructing our programming to morph into the unattainable standards of what men want requires a woman to decide she is inherently worthy enough of her own devotion that she will not pander for validation from anything or anyone external.

Doing this work might take your whole life.

Fun Fact: If you want to find a man who will love you, stop trying to package yourself for male consumption.

Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the worlds best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com. 

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