Grief and Loss Act Like They Own You
Grief feels like an infinite field of love unspent - love that wells up and spills over with nowhere to go. It puddles around you and before you know it, you feel like you're drowning in your love. Who knew love could feel precisely like the sharp, jagged edges of loss?
Loss is not a once-and-done kind of deal. Loss requires you to take a million steps in the direction of letting go. As the memories fade and you beg your brain not to let them disappear, it's like a tide you cannot trust. The pain ebbs and flows - mostly, it feels like flow because in the ebbs of your pain, all you can do is sleep, and the sleep doesn't feel like rest.
Grief and loss act like they own you. They push you down the halls of your memories. They shake you by the shoulders and shatter your complacency. They follow you around like a shadow, and you can't stand in a light bright enough to lose it
Loss will show you what matters. Grief will punish you for not paying attention.
Loss will make you so soft, as if you have no bones. Grief will harden you, strong enough to stand through things you thought would surely break you before the grief happened.
Loss will take your breath away. Grief will make you think you've lost your soul, at least for awhile, and that while will be longer than you want it to be.
And in case you're wondering, the journey through the underworld will never really end. That doesn't mean you'll never see the light again.
It does mean the journey through the dark will beckon you to revisit the depths over and over, and that invitation to return will be so seductive that you will go back in and under, voluntarily, more times than you want to think you will.
Grief is not a task you can finish or a test you can pass. It will change your DNA and nothing will ever be the same -
One day you will wake up and the never ending sound of your heart shattering will be replaced by the soundtrack of the memories that made you who you are.
One day you will notice the loss and grief has made you feel so alive that you can't ever feel numb again.
One day, you will wake up, and the black and white of grief will subtly give way to the beauty of drowning in your own love.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the world's best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com.
