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The Power of Self Talk

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I caught myself in a shit-storm of self-defeating thoughts yesterday. I was tired. I was hangry. Things were not going the way I wanted them to. I'm not talking about any really big things misfiring. I just felt like an overripe toddler who needed a nap. When I'm in that kind of mood I have a tendency to let loose on myself with a barrage of internal dialogue I wouldn't unleash on anyone else ever.

I'm better than I used to be. I catch myself a lot quicker than I used to. However, I listen to my own voice in my head. So when I'm being a jerk to myself it doesn't take long to do some damage. The good news is because I listen to my own thoughts so it doesn't take long for me to talk myself out of my funk.

We’re all doing it, almost all the time. We talk to ourselves. Most of us, at least most of the time manage to contain the voices inside our heads to our heads. However, don’t kid yourself. You have an inner voice and you are listening to it. The voice inside your head is either your greatest enemy or your best friend and most powerful ally. The good news about that is you have a lot more control of that voice than you probably think.

Most of the time when people are forced to identify the voice in their head two things come to the surface. First of all, they feel like they have little to no actual control over that inner dialogue as if it’s somehow disembodied. Secondly, they are usually surprised as to how cruel that voice really is.


You can't control every thought that comes into your head. Sometimes a thought comes up that is an immediate response to stimulus. However, you can control the thoughts you have conversations with. Most people don't. Most thoughts are habitual. So, at the very least when you recognize you are having an unconscious cruel thought, you can consciously offer a rebuttal and make it a good one. Even better you can flood your brain with the rebuttal thought in an effort to reprogram the thought habit.


Personally, I am a narrator. So, for me it would go like this. “Situations like this stress me out. It seems like they always get out of control.”


Boom – defeating narrative self-talk. However, now that I caught it I can really use it to my advantage. Not only can I reprogram that thought pattern with one I prefer, but I can also use this as an opportunity to leverage deliberation creation to create a situation that works out better for me.

“I’ve noticed I’m getting better and better at this. Things almost always go my way. The universe has my back.”
“I’ve noticed I’m getting better and better at this. Things almost always go my way. The universe has my back.”
“I’ve noticed I’m getting better and better at this. Things almost always go my way. The universe has my back.”
“I’ve noticed I’m getting better and better at this. Things almost always go my way. The universe has my back.”
“I’ve noticed I’m getting better and better at this. Things almost always go my way. The universe has my back.”

Over, and over again. Self-talk is too powerful to get lazy or loosey goosey. The tone and content of your inner

Self-talk is too powerful to get lazy. The tone and content of your inner dialogue will not only determine your level of happiness but also your level of success. So, when it comes to consciously reprogramming a thought and thinking intentionally, you can’t really over-do it. Control take attention, intention, and consistency.


I challenge you to join me in a one week experiment. For seven days really listen to what you’re saying to yourself. It’s worth tuning into because your subconscious is already paying very close attention. Take notes. Notice themes. Figure out how you hear that voice. Does it come in the form of a “you” reference or are you a narrator. When you catch that voice misbehaving, don’t just ignore it, don’t judge it. Just retrain it. Imagine the momentum you can create by creating five to one positive ratio of self-talk instructions.

When you catch that voice misbehaving, don’t just ignore it, don’t judge it. Just retrain it. Imagine the momentum you can create by creating five to one positive thoughts or even ten to one positive to negative thoughts. It doesn’t take long to get that momentum working in your favor.

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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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