It’s simple. Really.
Does this make me happy?
If the answer is no, and you’re clinging on to it anyway, you’re on the road to the kind of change you won’t get to choose because change is coming. You get to be the architect of your unfolding, or not.
If you’re looking around your life baffled by why someone else is showing up as a class one asshole, you probably don’t need to look any further than yourself for the explanation. Your self-worth is sub-par, probably really subpar.
For the first time in my life, I started tasting and I realized something profound. I had never eaten because I loved food because I’d never really allowed myself to taste anything. I’d been eating to be numb.
If someone doesn’t like you enough to value you for who you are, you can do enough to make them like or love you.
Mr Right is your biggest. fan. He’s your champion. He makes you feel invisible even when you don’t fully see it yourself. Mr Right doesn’t make you feel like you’re striving for something you can’t identify. In his eyes, you are more than enough, all the time, and you know it.
These three strategies, when you actually work them, have a proven track record for making massive shifts in relationships. They aren’t a magic pill. However, each of these represents a functional change in the way we do relationships that can look like magic and produce measurable results
There is one antidote to conflict, and that antidote doesn’t yield any clear winners. That antidote is compassion, and what it brings is peace. I’m not necessarily talking about a truce. I’m talking about a quiet and still knowing that the other person isn’t wrong, and neither are you.
I hear it all the time. “I don’t want to do______________, because it will scare him...
He never really left her. He just never came back.
It didn’t exactly end because it never really began.
It was the hardest breakup that never happened.
Boundaries create both safety and freedom. They create clarity. Boundaries make being in a relationship about choice, not chaos.