A HUMAN'S GUIDE TO GETTING YOUR BRAIN TO PLAY NICE.

There is a kind of thinking in personal development circles that was probably born in the law of attraction circles that says, "Only do what feels good." 

This idea that we should stay in a holding pattern until something feels good, over time, slowly morphs into endless patterns of dissatisfied sameness and insecurity-fueled procrastination. 

The problem with that kind of thinking is that although there is a lot of science that supports deliberate creation, the actual science in no way indicates that emotion is a creative force -

focus is the driving creative force. 

Focus is everything, and emotion will inevitably, eventually follow focus.

However, many of us have gotten in the habit of wanting to manhandle and manage our feelings so we feel good about making change before doing a thing that makes us feel uncomfortable - 

And here is the problem with that: Change makes humans uncomfortable. 

The human brain wants nothing more than to keep you safe. So, the brain will perceive anything that is not the same as it's always been, even if it doesn't make you happy as a threat. 

Your normally functioning brain does not care if you are happy or not. 

Trying to strong-arm your feelings into thinking a change feels great is much harder work than just making a change. Most people can only create a sustainable change in their feelings when the brain sees evidence that making the change is safe.

Bottom line: Waiting until it feels right thinking will keep you exactly where you are. 

You have to SHOW your brain what you want to experience before the gatekeeper of your emotions will get on board. Your brain functions on an evidence-based system. 

If you want forward momentum, you've got to outsmart your brain, and that is easier than you might think - it only requires one thing.

BE BOLD. 

If fact, be audacious. 

Be fucking delusional about the possibilities and DO something way bigger than you think you can. 

Thinking BIG without BIG DOING reinforces your anxiety.

Just do the thing. 

Break the part of your brain that acts like an emotional hall monitor by doing something boldly unexpected - and if it fails, it fails. 

If it fails, which you might, and you survive it, which you will, maybe you win even more because your brain will witness you not being crushed.

Your current state of being is exactly what it is until you start pushing your boundaries creatively, professionally, personally, and spiritually. 

You will have to get out there on your edges and push the lines of what is comfortable or feels safe to explore what's possible. 

Rumination, while it feels like important thinking, is a complete waste of time. Rumination is the brain's way of making you think your discomfort is important. 

You can learn to feel the fear and do it anyway and teach your brain you can survive unpredictability - 

and when you start taking the scary risks and big leaps without needing those risks to "pay off," only doing it so you can train yourself to expand into greater levels of doing things that are possible for you, you will probably find none of it is that scary even when it's uncomfortable. 

Train yourself to believe risk and rejection are safe.

Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the worlds best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com. 

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