Relationships can feel complicated and sometimes they are. Anytime you put two or more people in the mix; things get interesting quickly. Everyone brings their stuff, stories, and baggage to the game. We can't help it. All of that is a part of you, and all of that is a part of what makes you unique.
I think a lot of the time people are looking for something new and revolutionary that's going to change the game. We're looking for the next shiny tool or idea that will fix everything. However, because relationships are innately more complicated than other things we might want to create in our lives, sticking with the basics is a huge deal.
I think any one of these things could have a dramatic positive effect on a relationship. However, I believe it you want a relationship that thrives through good times and not so good times you probably have to be using all three of these things on the regular.
1. Know yourself, know what you want and focus on it.
Most people know one thing. They want to be in a relationship, and they want to be happy. That broad. Relationships are not a one size fits all gig. You'd be surprised how many people spend more time and energy planning for their wedding than their marriage.
We know that focus matters. However, if you don't have a vision to focus on your going to be creating by default. So get very clear about what you want to experience and stay focused there. That puts you in the driver's seat of creating that "happy relationship".
2. Bring your best energy.
At the beginning of a relationship, we're always on our best behavior. We put our best face on all the time. If we're that intentional about being on our best behavior intentionally for the lifetime of a relationship chances of a relationship lasting a lifetime is pretty good.
A relationship should be a safe place to be yourself. However, if you aren't showing up as your best self more than not, you're relationship will suffer.
Energy matters. Every deliberate creator knows that. So bringing your best energy to anything that matters is important.
3. Play the appreciation game.
It is not uncommon for me to encounter couples who as a rule don't say please and thank you to each other. Basic common courtesy isn't there anymore. In the daily grind that might seem like a big deal.
However, when we quit feeling and expressing appreciation in a relationship resentments build really quickly. Everyone wants to feel seen and appreciated, and without it, things get stale quickly.
Deliberate creators know appreciation is rocket fuel for creation. When it comes to relationships, appreciation is relationship insurance that buffers a relationship against the stuff life throws at you.
4. Intentionally look for the things you want to see or experience.
The human brain always sees things it expects to see. We're always in the process of proving ourselves right. That's just the way we're wired.
If you set a deliberate intention to see your partner showing up in a loving and attentive way AND start looking for evidence of that, you'll probably see it coming. Energy goes where attention flows. Get that list of positive aspects and work it like your relationship depends on it. It might.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 03/10/2017 at 01:23:00 PM