I’m Afraid I’m Always Going to be Single


Dear Lisa,

I’m 34 years old. I have never been married. I’ve had a couple of significant long-term relationships. However, even in those, I knew we weren’t on the “marriage track”. At this point, that’s exactly where I want to be. I want to be on the track to getting married. I know how that sounds. I never thought I’d be “one of those women”, and yet, here I am. I’m almost 35 and single, worrying I’ve missed my opportunity to actually get married and have a family.

I feel like I’m in a good place in my life. I have a career I love. I have friends and family who love me. I live in a great place with lots of things to do. I’m just tired of being the third wheel while everyone else seems to have the one thing I really want. To be clear, I do date, however, as I have gotten older, even that aspect of my life has slowed way down. I’m no longer willing to date for the sake of not being alone on Saturday night, which leaves me home alone on Saturday night more often than I care to admit.

I believe in law of attraction. I’ve actually successfully used it in other areas of my life to create wonderful things. I just don’t understand why I’m not attracting the one thing I want to badly. I think I’ve sort of come to a crisis of faith. I’m losing faith in my ability to deliberately create. I’m losing faith in myself and my worth. I feel like the clock really is ticking and I’m playing a game I’m about to age out of.

I’ve made my lists, my vision boards, and a dozen mind movies. I don’t see any evidence this is shifting.

What’s next?


Philadelphia, PA



I’m here to assure you, you aren’t “aging out” of the dating game. You are actually the perfect age to find a partner for a life long relationship. People who get married in their mid-thirties have the lowest divorce rate of any other demographic. So, there’s some good news for you.


Secondly, dating at your age naturally slows down because you ARE doing the deliberate creation part right. As you’ve dated over the years, you’ve learned a lot, about yourself, relationships, and what you want in a future partner. The contrast has helped you get very clear and much more detailed.

It’s not uncommon for a deliberate creator to experience what seems like less evidence, instead of more, as they become more in tune with what they really want. The Universe has a lot more data to work with. It gives the Universe a chance to do more of the heavy lifting, sifting, and sorting. So, you may see less action, but that doesn’t mean the action isn’t happening. The hard work is happening on the back end.

So, my advice to you is simple. Sit back and enjoy letting the Universe do it’s job.


Enjoy your life.

Play in your world and have fun.

Timing always makes sense in hindsight. Ask anyone who’s time on this earth is running out. Time is the most precious commodity there is. Don’t waste it wishing things were different than they are. You can’t get that time back.

Someday you won’t be single anymore.

Enjoy your life.

“What you are seeking is seeking you.” Rumi

Truer words have never been spoken. That applies to the man of your dreams also.

So, really…


Big love,


*This letter was shared with permission and the names have been changed.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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