The Lazy Girl's Guide for Doing Self-care Like You Mean It


Most women feel like self-care is a chore. It's just another thing they have on their to-do list. For a lot of women, the concept itself is pretty nebulous. Self-care and self-love seem like ideas that mean something, but they aren't sure what exactly.

A few days ago I actually had a woman who is hanging on by her toenails tell me she just didn't understand the point. She'd yet to do any kind of self-care that made her feel better. Truth be told, I think a lot of women feel that way. It's because they're really are doing the kind of self-care that feels like a lot of work. It's not nurturing.

The good news is, if you want to rock your self-care out of the park, there are some very simple ways to do it that don't require adding another thing to your schedule or list.

Doing the things you do every day in a way that demonstrates a lot of self-love may be the best kind of self-care anyway. It's more likely to move the dial on feeling great than forcing yourself to the gym or getting a mani-pedi when you don't have the time or energy.

Try these in the name of self-care and see how you feel.

1. Where what makes you feel amazing every-damn-day.

You've got something in your closet that makes you feel truly beautiful, and you've got a bunch of other stuff in your closet that fits and is practical. If you're like most women, you wear the stuff that fits and is practical almost all the time.

It makes no sense. We all do it. We need to stop.

I am a girl who's got in her to wear my baggy yoga pants three days a week. Make that five days a week if I'm on my period. I work from home. No one is going to notice except my dogs. And you know what? I don't feel that great in those baggy yoga pants. I don't feel like the queen of my universe or anything else when I'm slogging around like that.

Putting clothing on your body that doesn't make you feel amazing is the opposite of self-care. Wearing something that makes it easy to stand up taller and feel confident is self-care in the highest order. You deserve to feel like a goddamn Goddess. The easiest way to nail that is to dress like one.

I don't care if you've only got one thing that makes you feel gorgeous. Wear only that one thing until you find a couple of other things that fit the bill. If you get rid of all that practical stuff that fits, you'll be motivated expand your wardrobe pretty quickly. You don't need nearly as many clothes as you probably have. Let some of that crappy stuff go.

Keep something to work out in if that's your jam. Keep one pair of yoga pants or sweats to work in the yard or clean house in. Then get rid of everything else that doesn't make you feel like the beautiful creature you are.

Be uncompromising. Put in a little effort. Look your best. You get dressed every day anyhow. You may as well do it right.

2. Only eat food that actually tastes divine.

Now before you even dismiss this as being insane let's talk about junk food. One Oreo might be the best thing you've eaten all day. Two might still be delicious. However, five Oreos in, they quit tasting great. If you've eaten the whole pack, you know it tasted like crap about 40 Oreos ago. You know I'm right.

So, let's be honest. Taste is not the issue when it comes to junk food. If you're binging on junk, something else is going on. If you're eating for the flavor, your body isn't going to betray you.

I'm also not suggesting you eat stuff you know you don't tolerate. My body doesn't do milk. I'll spare giving you too much information on what she does to me when I drink it, but it's not pretty.

Yesterday at Starbucks they handed my someone else's breve. I didn't realize it. When I took a swallow, that creamy goodness was amazing. However, I don't really want to spend an afternoon dealing with what comes next. So I returned exchanged it for a soy latte I ordered.

So beyond things you know you don't tolerate, you should only be eating things that taste incredible to you. The vast majority of what most of us eat most of the time is ok but not great. A lot of us eat stuff we hate in the name of being healthy. That is not self-care. That's self-loathing packaged in a very deceptive box.

Eating has become a very practical pursuit. That practicality steals a lot of the joy from something we do several times a day. Imagine the joy if every bite you put in your mouth was fantastic and you left everything else out.

The good news is if you raise your standards and only eat things that are truly delicious, chances are pretty high you'll be a lot eating less. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. You'll be satiated a lot quicker and let's face it, truly amazing food isn't as readily available as food that's just alright.

3. Stop apologizing so much and say thank you a lot more.

Most women are in the habit of apologizing way too much. We do a for a lot of reasons. Most of them kind of suck. When we apologize too often saying you're sorry when you mean it doesn't feel as sincere as it actually is.

Click HERE to read about Five Times Not to Say You're Sorry.

Chances are pretty high most of the time you are saying you're sorry you could instead be expressing gratitude.

Instead of saying, "I'm so sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible." You could instead say, "Thank you so much for waiting for me. Traffic was dreadful."

Instead of saying, "I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday." You could instead say, "Thank you for understanding how forgetful I was."

It's nuanced, but it's powerful. If you swap out gratitude for apologies most of the time, you'll find yourself in at a higher vibrational altitude all day long. When you do need to say you're sorry it'll mean more.

It might not seem like self-care, but trust me, it is.

If you want more information on how to put together an honest and measurable self-care plan CLICK HERE.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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