8 Point Checklist to Get Back On Track When Everything Has Gone off the Rails


I'm not going to lie. I should have seen it coming. I should have just cleared the months of July and August in advance. There was an omen, and I knew it was a forebearer of some messy change the minute I realized what it was. Several weeks ago I noticed my yard was teaming with crying crows. They were screaming in fact, and there were a lot of them.

I tried to feed them. I gave the crows yarn and tiny shiny objects. I played them music. I talked to them. I attempted to calm them for several hours before I realized what had happened and when I figured it out, the feeling of foreboding was persistent.

I sent my husband a text: "You need to come home now. There are two dead crows in the pool. Their friends are super fucking upset."

Yes, I'm a baby. I'm not the girl who's going to fish the dead crows out of the pool by myself. Don't judge.

We buried the crows with the most sacred ceremony possible. We decorated the grave site. I left offerings for their friends for days. However, it left me unsettled. I knew I was waiting for something, and I didn't know what it was. I know what crow medicine is, but I researched it relentlessly anyway.

Bottom line, two dead crows is probably not a great omen no matter how you look at it.

I didn't have to wait that long to start to figure it out because within the week a series of unrelated, but persistently unending events started rolling through my life and continued for weeks.

Some of those events were just the worst, the kind of seriously horrible things that make me want to go to bed and not get up. Some of them were amazing and nearly miraculous, but still, reality shaking and challenging to process.

I know my pattern. I tend to do all of my hard stuff at once in big batches. I feel things intensely, so it's not surprising that once I get on a roll, I attract more intensity in kind. However, as I think back on those crows, I have a particular kind of peace that this was all going to happen no matter what.

On the front end of this shit storm, my husband and I went to Vegas for our anniversary. There was no gambling or casinos. There was simply a spa retreat hotel room and a pool with a waitstaff at the cabana. I have found myself saying out loud and in my head, more times than I can count, "I just want to go back to Vegas."

It's not the bright lights, loud music, and expensive food that has me craving Vegas. It's the retreat, the solitude of that room. It's the nothingness of being anonymity in the crowd. I'm intending we're on the other side of the chaos as of today. However, we all know how this system works. If I've ever going to get enough wind in the sails to get out of chaos, I have to activate peace. That fact that I'm craving Vegas gives me some solid clues about what might be next. Peace and respite are the orders of the day.

I usually don't write publicly about the crap that goes on in my life until I'm well on the other side of the storm. However, today I'm making an exception. I going to share my the vibration repair process I'm putting into effect today.

I'm sharing because I know I'm not the only one going through massive shift storms right now. I'm also sharing it because a little accountability goes a long way in my world. So, I'm committing to you; this will get shifted starting now.

Here are the household rules for vibration rehab:

1. Turn off the TV.

Yes, there are natural disasters. Yes, our political system is a rolling train wreck of unimaginable proportions. Yes, the world might feel like it's falling apart. However, my fragile vibe just can't take it right now. So, we're turning off the noise for now. Not forever - for today and the next few days, the durations of which is still to be determined.

CNN alerts are not important enough to risk making my precarious mood even more unstable. Being in the know isn't helping. So, we're unplugged, and it's not easy. I've become very addicted to the adrenaline of the news cycle. But I'm willing to do the detox. It's important.

2. Stop talking about it.

I'm willing to talk about my feelings. Feelings matter. Talking about them might be healthy.

It's not easy. I want to rattle off a twenty point checklist of doom right now. However, repeating the ever-growing list of fuckery in my life to illustrate the point that my current situation is a shit show is doing nothing more than magnifying the shit show.

There are lots of things to talk about that are working. However, knowing I'm in an adrenaline run up, I know that fixating on the peaceful might not feel all that satisfying right now. But it's required.

I'm still surrounded by snoring dogs. I went to a lovely wedding celebration last weekend. I've got Doctor Pepper in the frig. I'm not going to give audience to my upset right now.

All is well.
All is well.
All is well.

3. Get back on track with my self-care without excuses.

There were days last week where self-care at its best was taking a shower before my husband got home from work, so I didn't stink. I didn't manage to even pull that off every day.

That said, I need my vitamins. I need to exercise. I need to get outside of my house to do more than buy more Doctor Pepper. I need to meditate. When the going gets tough, the first thing to go is usually self-care when you need it the most.

My failure to care for myself properly has created an inability to care for anything else well including my family, my home, and my business.

I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl. Either I'm rocking my self-care, or I'm slouched in the corner in a puddle. As of today, I'm getting back on the self-care wagon, even if it happens one step at a time instead of all at once.

4. Zenify my home.

Part of what I long for from the Vegas retreat is maid service and the minimalist decor. Although my home is not a shit hole, it's feeling far from Zen.

I'm making a point to move at least five things to their proper place every time I get up from my seat. At this rate, eventually, the landscape will stop being a distraction.

I've scheduled in a half an hour every day for the next two weeks to tackle the most important to me spaces in my home. That starts with my bedroom and my office.

I'm opening windows to let real fresh air blow through. I'm saging the nooks and crannies to excavate the stuck energy. After I finish this post, I'm texting my housekeeper to make sure I'll see his happy face tomorrow.

Part of the magic is in visually seeing progress being made. However, the real magic is that what's happening on the outside is a reflection of what's going on on the inside. I may not be able to fully control the inner chaos, but I can wrangle the outer chaos into order, and it starts to calm my crazy making mind.

5. Leverage ritual and make magic.

Oh those damn crows, I knew it when I saw it. They were bringers of dark magic into my world. However, it was magic none the less, and the symbolism was not lost on me.

I'm going to honor the fuck out of those crows. Crow medicine has worked it's way into my totem, and I'm embracing that. Crow rituals will abound along with lots of other magic making to ease the waters.

I'm most at peace when I'm at my altar or on my yoga mat. I haven't been dipping myself in the waters of my spiritual practice, and the absence of that discipline has left a vacuum for a lot of turbulence in my life. As I stood in front of my altar this morning, I felt very disconnected from it and that is a solid gold indicator I'm disconnected from myself.

The practice may be different than it was a few weeks ago, but a practice that grounds my spiritual side is required of me right now, and I know it. Every experience is a spiritual experience. I need to get back in the game with the Divine to give the meaning I choose to whatever is happening.

6. Surrender, Surrender, Surrender.

While some of this might not be my preference, I can accept it, all of it. Resistance is not only painful; it's futile.

I will breathe through the discomfort instead of trying to distract myself from it.

I will EFT until my face is bruised if I need to.

I will surrender a thousand times a day because that's what's required. I can let everything be a blessing if I don't allow myself to flee back into victim mode.

There is no going around an energetic shit storm. There is only going through, and surrender is the ONLY way to do that without hurting myself or others in the process.

7. I will remind myself what I want on the regular.

I'm not too super stoked about what is a lot of the time at this point. However, what I want is to anchor a state of peace, and I will remind myself that's what I'm after persistently.

I will visualize desired outcomes instead of replaying the fuck show in my head like a horror movie trailer. I will focus on the many things that have gone really right and amplify those in my mind's eye.

Deliberate creating takes mental muscle, and I feel a bit like someone training for the Olympics that hasn't been in the gym for six weeks. But that's ok. I've done this before.

I know I don't have to feel good to create things I really want. I just need to be the boss of my focus. I can do that, or at least I can start doing that right now.

8. Find the feel good wherever it's hiding.

Comedies - check
Sex - check
Music - check
Clean sheets - check
Chocolate - check


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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