Can Any Relationship Ever Really be Perfect?


Somebody asked me recently if I believed a perfect relationship was possible and if so what that would look like. The answer to the question is yes, I do believe perfect relationships are possible. In fact, I’ve seen a lot of them, and none of them are exactly the same.

In my opinion the one quality that defines a perfect relationship is complete and total acceptance. That means you have two people who see each other for who they are and accept the other exactly as they are as perfect. No fixing. No improving. Nothing needs to change. To love is to be happy with.

I’m not talking about an attitude of toleration. This isn’t about seeing someone’s imperfections and deciding you can look the other way or ignore them. I’m not really talking about an attitude of optimism either. Thinking something is wrong with someone but hoping it will improve, or even expecting it to improve doesn’t really count. Flat out denial certainly isn’t acceptance either.

The perfect couple are two people who are uniquely imperfect who bask in the beauty of each others quirks. They actually tend to appreciate things about the other that some might find irritating. One person’s over controlling nature might perfectly complement the other’s indecisiveness. Or the slob who’s with a neat freak that cleans because it releases stress and enjoys it.

I talked to a couple a few days ago that made me smile. She had a very unusual laugh. Honestly, her laugh was shrill and startling. This woman laughed a lot. I found it disorienting and I’m guessing I’m not alone. He was quite somber by nature. When I asked him what he looked forward to most everyday he immediately answered, “coming home and reading the comics with my wife. Her laugh makes me smile.”

Clearly, that was a good thing because this because this man probably doesn’t smile often. In fact, he’d been reprimanded at work because his employer felt he was too serious with customers. When I asked her what she most appreciated about him she answered, “He’s so sincere. He’s like a grounding force in my life."

These compliment each other in a very unique way. I'm guessing as perfectly as they are matched, it's intentional on their part. They have chosen to focus on what they love about the other. More importantly, they've decided to see what some might perceive as a flaw in the other, as things they love.

I think one of life's greatest tortures is might be being in a relationship with someone who wants you to be different. No one wants to be someone else's fixer-upper. Huna philosophy says, to love is to be happy with. That idea is elegant in it's simplicity. You can't really love someone's potential. If you don't can't fully embrace and accept the person in front of you, no matter how much you want it to be it's not love.

A perfect relationship is one where two people make the commitment to see each other as perfect. It's as simple as that.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. She is also co-founder of Good Vibe Coach Academy, specializing in LOA Coach Training.

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