Choose YOU


By: Lisa Hayes

I see it more often than I should. I recognize it because I’ve done it myself too many times to count. We stay too long for all the “right” reasons with very high consequences.

A woman is in a relationship. It’s not that bad, but she’s not happy. He doesn’t beat her. He hasn’t cheated. However, somewhere deep in her soul, she wishes he would. That would give her a reason that would be enough to leave. She knows he won’t though, so she tries as hard as she can to be happy. She tries to “manage” her thoughts. She tries to pretend she’s not lonely. She tells herself it’s enough. It isn’t. Yet she stays. She hopes it will get better because no woman in her right mind would just up and leave a perfectly good relationship.

A woman has a job. It’s a good job, or at least it’s good enough. She makes good money. She likes her co-workers. But she dreads going to work every single day. She lives for vacation, but she never takes one. She’s tired. She’s bored, but she’s getting a paycheck. She secretly hopes she’ll get fired, but she knows she won’t. So she tries to “manage” her thoughts. She hopes it will change because no one in their right mind would leave a steady job.

I could list a dozen scenarios like this. We all know what it looks like.
Here’s the thing.

You don’t need a permission slip from someone else to choose your own happiness.

You don’t have to wait until it gets bad enough to leave anyone or anything.


If you aren’t happy, you aren’t on your path and that is cause enough for alarm. If you wait until it’s “bad enough” to choose something else, you’re doing that at your own peril, because by the time it gets that bad, there may not be enough of you left to make the change your soul is longing for.

We all end up invested in things we wish were different. However, when you land yourself somewhere you can’t be happy unless other people have to be different than they are, that is a zero sum game that goes nowhere. Betting your happiness on words like “potential” and “hope” and “someday” will leave you bankrupt on every level.

Do your best. Do what’s reasonable. However, when you’ve done that and it’s still not bringing you joy, you can give yourself permission to be done. For the record, giving up any part of yourself is not ever reasonable.
Quit early and often.

Leave while you still have the energy.

Every single thing you do either makes you stronger or weaker. Weakness has consequences. Strength is very, very attractive.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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