How to Win at Dating


Thank heavens a couple of my friends actually landed some really incredible men. Watching them seal the deal on happily ever after broke the evil spell. I finally began to believe the elusive and formerly mythical “good guy” still existed.

I met my husband on I joke around all the time saying I ordered him online. So, I’m a fan of online dating. A lot of people want to know how I did it.

How did I win the online dating game?

The answer is simple.

I didn’t quit.

I had a lot of experiences online dating. I met and dated all kinds of men.

I dated a couple of pathological liars.

I dated a handful of unemployed takers.

I dated three separate guys who still lived in their parents basements, (don’t judge me).

I dated a guy who threatened to kill me in a very believable way.

I also dated a doctor who worked for the World Health Organization.

I dated an attorney who represented at risk children.

I dated a CSI specialist who traveled the country as a consultant.

I dated a professional athlete.

I dated guys I filed restraining orders against and I dated men I’m still friends with.

Most importantly, I found my beloved online. I would not have met him if I’d given up on online dating after getting burned. We did not run in any of the same circles. Maybe I’m a sucker for punishment, but I don’t think so.

The only way to fail at anything is to quit.

If you don’t want to stay single you can’t give up on dating. I’m not saying online dating is the only way to find that special someone. Statistically speaking most newly married couples meet some other way. However, thirty to forty percent of newly married couple did meet through an online dating site.

People have all kinds of experiences, good and bad with dating every day. However, if you allow one or even a string of bad experiences dictate what’s possible, you’re selling yourself short.

Dating is a numbers game. Looking at it any other way is setting yourself up for failure.

Very, very few people live happily ever after with the first person they date. In most cases that would be a very bad idea. The contrast helps you learn more about yourself and what you really want.


I’m not suggesting dating horror stories are a certainty. What I am suggesting is if you let a bad experience make you give up, you aren’t really protecting yourself. You’re setting yourself up to be lonely. Laugh it off.

Focus on what you do want. Expect the best, and don’t quit.

I suppose that’s not just advice about online dating. It’s pretty good advice for doing just about anything.


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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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