Stop Dating and Start Doing


Karen lives in Baton Rouge. Anyone who’s ever been to Baton Rouge knows it’s smaller “city” with the feeling that everyone still knows everyone else. When Karen moved there twelve years ago, she was more interested in building a career than finding a husband. However, a couple of years ago she realized she’d build a wonderful life with no one to share it with.

So, she did the thing everyone told her she needed to. Karen signed up for a couple of online dating sites. She got professional photos taken, wrote an amazing profile, and let the dating begin, and begin it did. Karen got a lot of dates. She made some great friends. However, after a year of online dating, she was beginning to think she’d dated every man there was to date in Baton Rouge. She hadn’t found Mr Right. She was discouraged.

We talked about it and decided it was time for a different approach. Karen shut her profiles down, quit dating, and started doing. She made a list of several of her interests and started pursuing them instead of a man. She took a French cooking class and joined a wine tasting club. She took golf lessons. She also volunteered on a couple of Habitat for Humanity builds, where she met Edwin. Edwin’s CPA firm was one of the major fiscal donors for the second build she helped with. Edwin also loves fine wine. He has quite a collection. Karen and Edwin hit it off. All signs indicate they are easily cruising into happily ever after.


I could tell you so many stories like that you’d get bored. When you start pursuing your passions you will inevitably run into people you have something in common with. Not to mention you become very attractive because you’re lit up from the inside, living an interesting life.

I always tell the single ladies, go live a life your married friends will envy. When you are single and you don’t have to answer to anyone or care for anyone else, you are free to spend as much time on you and your passions as you’d like. One of the things most women regret after they get married and have children is that they didn’t make more of the time they had when they were single.

I’m a big fan of online dating. However, only 30 percent of couples getting married met their beloved online. That means 70% found their love living life. If you spend less time pursuing a man and more time pursuing your passions, chances of a passionate man showing up are pretty good.


Sharing is sexy. If you liked this article, share, comment, or pass it on.

Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

contact us

/ keep in touch