The Cost of the Blame Game


Personal power is finite, it’s precious, and it is the single most important ingredient to your happiness. It is a currency and you only get so much to spend.

In a complicated and complex world with too many moving parts to keep track of, keeping your personal power intact can seem like an impossible task, and yet, in reality, you never really lose it, you only give it away. You give it away in big bits and tiny bits through blame.

Anytime you think something is happening to you, it’s actually something you’re doing to yourself.

Anything you think something is hurting you, it’s actually something you’ve allowed.

Anytime you think someone has injured you, they are actually someone you’ve chosen.

Blame is voluntary victimhood and there is no way around it.

At first glance, it’s a cold concept with hard edges and a lot of regret. At second glance it’s the entry point to maturity and the gateway to enlightenment.

You chose what you allow.

You chose how you interpret the meaning of things.

You chose how you feel, how you respond, and how you remember.

You are the decider and the creator of your story.

No one does that to you. No one else is the author of your experience. Only you.

This isn’t about right and wrong. It’s about responsibility. The path to peace has no victims and no villains, and make no mistake, where is the is a villain, there is a victim. If you are victimized in some way great or small, tangible or intangible, you chose it.

Denouncing blame is the equivalent of choosing autonomy. Being self-directed, and ultimately responsible for your circumstances and feelings is the only way to buy happiness you can bank on.

If you’re blaming you’re giving away the most precious thing you have to give, your power, and once gone, it’s very, very hard to buy it back.


Sharing is sexy. If you liked this article, share, comment, or pass it on.

Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

contact us

/ keep in touch