Your fiscal freak-out kink is not sexy. It is not attractive, literally or metaphysically

I often write posts I know might piss people off. This one probably needs a trigger warning.

If you are a person whose most pressing problems are almost always money related, count your fucking blessings BECAUSE you are one of the lucky ones.

You do not want to have problems that money can't solve.

I get it. I have been there.

I grew up in a home where money was always a problem. I have no memories of conversations about money from my childhood where the topic was neutral. There was never enough. My parents fought about money. They worried about it probably every day. Money and survival rode hand in hand. Not having enough was the only thing I knew.

I have jokingly told people you don't know what it is like to grow up poor unless you had to fold down the kitchen table in the travel trailer to make your bed at night when it is twenty below zero outside - while at the same time hearing your parents say prayers of deep gratitude for the travel trailer that kept us warm(ish) -

and frankly, that is not a joking matter. Poverty is not funny. Parts of me will never fully outgrow being a trailer park girl.

I was a single mother for the better part of two decades. My relationship with poverty mindset was probably the most consistent thing I had going. I am painfully familiar with how soul-sucking it is to wonder if the power company will shut things down, knowing I couldn't muster the courage to call and ask for another extension BECAUSE I bought groceries with what was left instead of paying the bill.

Money problems are a bitch, but they aren't the worst.

Make no mistake: money problems are the problems of the privileged.

You do not want to face the shit writing checks will never fix - trust me.

A terminal medical diagnosis

The loss of a child, a parent, or any deeply loved one

The ending of a marriage that rocks your world and tears a family apart

Watching your country crumble in a war that seems like it won't end

A missing teen that just didn't come home

The loss of a chunk of your cognitive function because of a head injury you got in the car accident that wasn't your fault

A tornado flattens your home and destroys everything you worked all your life for in less than sixty seconds

Seeing police officers at your door when your husband is three hours late

The death of a beloved pet...

-- in moments like these and countless others life will throw at you, your money problems will be the last thing on your mind. They will disappear like magic - poof, just like that, gone.

Your bank account,

your bills,

your too few clients,

your debt to income ratio,

your credit card balances,

your big money dreams or nightmares,

the disposable cash you think you do not have enough of,

will not matter.

Sure, having money might make some unthinkable things easier to navigate and that's not nothing. However, at the end of it all, you cannot buy your way out of the most life-altering twists in your story. You can't stockpile enough money to prevent them either.

You do not want life to help you get your priorities straight. That is a lesson much better learned on your terms, voluntarily.

Financial situations are always fluid.

Other things in life can be very permanent.

Additionally, while money might make it easier to solve some problems, you know, like paying the electric bill - money consistently fails at creating sustainable peace of mind.

Uber-wealthy people find themselves stuck in the muck also.

Rich people get dangerously depressed.

Rich people have anxiety.

Rich people are afraid of rejection and abandonment.

Rich people take hits and suffer losses they think they won't recover from too - they experience these things, not because of their money but because money is not a cure for being human.

Nothing you can buy with any amount of money will change who you are. Money will not help you forget where you tried to bury your anxieties or skeletons.

Money might feel like the most important thing - but convincing yourself money fixes important shit is a dangerous delusion that lacks creativity. Money is, in its essence, neutral. It might factor into your experience, but it tells you nothing about who you are or what you deserve.

Look, your attention is finite and way more precious than you think. Making money the monster of your heroine's journey is dull. It is very 1990s. We've all read the book and seen that movie. It is all played out.

This is why money is probably my least favorite thing to talk about as a coach.

Money problems are boring AF.

A lot of people want to talk to you about your financial fear fetish - and when I say a lot of people, I mean a lot of coaches.

More people will hire a coach to help with a money-related issue than anything else. People selling "fix your money" products in any space will always have the largest slice of the client pie.

There are thousands of coaches out there you can hire for your money shit. Many of them are really good at what they do.

I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.

It bores me. Those conversations are never original.

I want to talk about your secret addictions.

I want to talk about peek-heartbreak.

I want to talk about your most painful, dirty failures.

I want to talk about where you stash your shame.

I want to talk about what makes you think you are broken and what tore a hole through your soul you think might never heal.

I want to talk about music, art, and revolution.

I want to talk about deconstructing systems and breaking generational curses.

I want to talk about your ancestors and the things they tell you in your dreams while you are sound asleep and wide awake at the same time.

I want to talk about late-night wild ideas.

I want to talk about your genius that might look like crazy.

I want to talk about all the ways you have too many blessings.

I want to talk about rage and grief being the same things as magic and alchemy.

I want to talk about what life would look like if you let yourself be wild.

I want to have a conversation about feral desires and technicolor possibilities you gave up on a long time ago.

I want to hear the stories you tell yourself when you cry for no reason.

I want to talk about things that live beyond whatever bullshit anxiety you're fondling over your money anxiety. 

Your fiscal freak-out kink is not sexy. It is not attractive, literally or metaphysically.

Life is happening on the other side of all your mind chatter about your income - or lack thereof.

Life is happening now. If you wait until you have enough money in the bank to be present for the miracle of being alive right now, you might miss it all in a blink, and that, my friend, costs too much.

That said, if you find yourself obsessing, stressing, constantly contemplating your deep, albeit boring money bullshit because you just can't seem to shake it, that is ok. Just be thankful.

Remember, blessed be the ones with money problems because those are problems that probably aren't permanent.

Look, I am not advocating for the ostrich approach. You can't pretend your way to wealth by spending money you don't have. I am not suggesting you ignore your finances and just hoping your good vibes will carry you to retirement-

-but seriously, wouldn't it be nice to meet up with your money in a civil space, without fear, resentment, anxiety, and mistrust - engaging your money like someone who really loves herself and loves her cash?

If you want to hire a coach to help you earn more money with some secret formula or brilliant marketing strategy - that is not me.

If you want to hire a coach to help you get your thoughts about money or your money vibe straight so money will magically appear in your bank account- that's not me.

If you want to do coaching work to heal your relationship with money - that's not me. You should do that work, but walking you through this is not my idea of a good time.

If you want to do the sexiest possible deep-dive into the freedom of an unapologetically bold life, fueled by curiosity and infused with love and presence, I am here for that all day, every day. I want to go on that ride with you. Let's hold hands and jump in together.

You owe it to yourself to get to know who you are on every topic without the noise of not enough.

Who are you in the spaces of relationship without your money issues?

Who are you in the infinite creative spaces without your money issues?

Who would you be on your spiritual journey without your money issues?

Who are you in a bolder vision of your soul's idea of the best time ever without your money issues?

If you want to explore who you could be beyond money anxiety, and you're willing to come to a safe space to talk about literally anything BUT

your delusional obsession with not having enough, I am here for that BECAUSE I am pretty sure the person you are beyond that nonsense is magnificent. I WANT to hang out with that person.

Eight weeks.

Five 1:1 calls

Non-stop crazy supportive love and handholding when needed

$895 - as always, payments are happily accepted.

Spots really are, for real, limited.

I don't have a lot of empty space in my schedule BUT this is likely to be an ongoing offer so no pressure. Let's only do this if it's a big "hell yes" right now.

You can get a grip.

You know you want to.

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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the hit books, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. Lisa also trains the worlds best coaches at www.thecoachingguild.com.