Confidence is sexy. We all know that. Everyone wants it.
However, very few women are as confident as they want to be. When surveyed 97% of women under 50 say they wish they had more confidence. The numbers go up slightly for women over 50, but not that much. That my friend, is a lot of women, who want to feel something they don’t.
Now typically I would classify myself as a pretty cool and confident chick. However, in the last few days I’ve found my confidence on the edge. I’m feeling a lot neurotic, a little insufficient, and a bit smaller than I want to feel.
It doesn’t take long before those feelings start to shrink my life. I start to struggle with showing up for myself and for other people. I find myself wanting to be seen less.
It’s a sucky feeling.
However, here’s the thing about confidence. It’s not a feeling at all.
Confident women do a few key things differently. I know from experience I can behave my way to feeling confident. This is the exact opposite of the way most people try to go about it. Most people think if they felt differently, they’d be able to do different things. However, when it comes to confidence, that myth tends to keep people mired in the mud.
A confident woman by nature is not focused on her own insecurities, therefore she has a greater ability to focus on other people. She is genuinely curious about other people. A confident woman has the innate ability to make other people feel seen, which makes her very attractive. People like to feel noticed and seen – a lot.
A confident woman is her own biggest cheerleader. She won’t indulge in shitty self-talk. A confident woman knows she’s in charge of her own thoughts and tells herself what she wants to hear. It might not always be easy, but she handles her inner critic as soon as it rears it’s head.
A confident woman takes very, very good care of herself. She does it for herself, not for anyone else. She’s going to be put together. She’s going to put in the time to look and do her best. However, she may look and be different than everyone else in the room. It’s not about impressing anyone. It’s about knowing she did her best for herself to be herself.
She doesn’t play the comparison game.
A confident woman focuses on her best qualities and attributes. If you look her makeup bag it’s going to be all about highlighting and not about concealing. She plays up her best features both physically and personally. She’s all about improving herself, but she’s never going to focus on fixing or covering up.
A confident woman says no often, but she won’t say no because she is afraid. Therefore she ends up saying yes to more things in her life than most. When she says no, she does it without apology. When she says yes, she does it for herself, and not for anyone else. She doesn’t need other people to approve one way or the other.
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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 11/02/2015 at 12:00:00 AM