Deliberate creators all know the drill. When you land on a thought that doesn't feel good, you're supposed to pivot immediately. Get off it as quickly as possible.
Now to be clear, I agree. When you're thinking a shitty though or your in the middle of a shitty thought storm, you should get off of it as soon as possible. However, just pivoting might not do the trick. Sticky thoughts don't shift that quickly, and I'm not sure trying to pivot too soon in actually in your best interests. I know it's not in mine.
I've spent years of my life fighting some major league resistance. I am not saying that to illustrate my deliberate creating handicap. I'm saying it because I'm human.
Humans are wired to notice what's not working and worry about where the danger might be. It's a part of the reptilian brain, and when you think about it from the standpoint of survival, it makes sense.
It's only been the last hundred years or so of human evolution that people have had the luxury of wanting to thrive vs. survive. I understand my tendency to notice the negative or get stuck in what is, is simply a part of my hardwiring.
I believe the next big thing in human evolution is developing the tools and a consistent ability to focus on what you want vs. what you don't want. That is an evolutionary milestone.
However, I think there is a big difference between shifting your focus and trying to shift your focus. When you pivot too quickly, if there is any stickiness to where you've been focused, you aren't really pivoting, you're lying to yourself. You can't fool the system.
That is why pivoting to a better feeling thought is never the first thing I do when I find myself focused on the ick. The first thing I do is aim for acceptance.
That thought set me free. The majority of my life I'd been trying to make the chaos stop so I could be peaceful. The problem with that is, I would put out one fire in my life only to realize another fire had started someplace else. I felt like I was running from one place to the next trying to manage crisis and I never felt peaceful.
Acceptance slowed that roll almost instantly.
Just because I accept something doesn't mean I've given up. Quite the opposite. It only means I'm not at war with what is. I'm not making my circumstances responsible for my peace or happiness.
Realizing that I could be experiencing something truly horrible and accept it allowing me to feel peaceful at any moment was a game changer. Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's harder. However, acceptance is always preferable to the alternative which is suffering.
When I'm faced with a thought or a situation I don't like, no matter how messy or impossible it feels at the time, I remind myself, "This may not be what I would prefer, but I can accept this." Then I take a deep breath and check myself. If I haven't actually moved into the peaceful space of acceptance, I just stay with it.
I never try to shift anything until I've made peace with it and neither should you. Making peace is the only way to make sure it doesn't come back at you when you're not looking.
This means pivoting is not the first step, it's the second step. Frankly, if you nail step one, often you don't have to pivot because the negative thoughts and emotions naturally drift on their own.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
Posted on 04/03/2017 at 04:53:00 PM